Di pandangan pertama semuanya terletup:
Aku mau kenalan.
Aku harus dapat nomor hape-nya.
Aku mau ajak nonton.
Di jabat tangan pertama semuanya sederhana:
Bayu.
Lembayung.
Di makan siang paling sore semuanya dikatakan:
Mau nonton?
Boleh. (Sambil SMS)
Kenapa?
Bilang sama cowokku dulu.
Di senandung senja paling dini yang sangat menghantui, dia bilang?
Bayu, maaf. Aku harus anter buku ke rumah teman. Kita ngga usah nonton, ya? Lagipula, pacar aku mau ke rumah nanti malam.
Tidak semua pandangan pertama berjalan dengan semestinya.
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Lalu, pandangan pertamamu?
First Thing Is (not) First Sight
Bizzare Lola Pop
What does maturity refer to?
How does it work?
Is it on sale by spring?
i wish you could see my awkward face
By ultra-high-class technology we own now,
can't you feel my fingers are trembling?
Typing "don't ha ha" and "should I care?"
with my right hand while the left shed my own tears?!
Can't you feel that?!
1400-kilometer far is enough!
AND HA HA THING IS INTOLERABLE.
It doesn't seem appropriate.
Never.
i wanna see you.
I wanna know your whole
Every inch
by heart
Now saying "sorry" won't sound good at all
Leaving you into a deep sleep
as the last option
As if it exists
It takes more that 45 minutes to lost into solitude woody dream land.
D E M A N D I N G O P A L
The beginning always is the hardest.
And Baby, it’s only our beginning.
Baby, I should be patient
Baby, you should too.
And I need time, Love.
I need you in my time.
But be still.
I need not talk.
Let’s not
verbally.
Am I Being Transformed?
We had only
15-minute talking
After 3-hour mute mode
Could you just imagine how rage had eaten my wholy patient?
Could you just imagine how you screwed me up?
(Or perhaps when I was in my wise mode,I thought I was totally dumb fool to admit that these all was my own fault)
Could we just stop by here for a moment (again),dear?
My fuel of logic-and-rational patient was run out.
Buldoze Me
We've been through it all, I chew I fall
While singing and mending your torn-apart melodies
My life's lost under your pillow
My breath costs your dream and show
I won't come down
I'll bring up death below your pulverizing soil
We are broken machines...
We are can-not-be-fixed engines.
Last Morning
I dunno what i was exactly doing while you're angry.
Of getting no passion and captivated.
Of letting go no pressure instead of packing and inhale.
Doomsdayism
Seemed it didnt work at all.
The vow and those so-called promises.
They bitched about relationship while i was reeling about how-to-be-a-good-girl stuff.
We're done here.
Giant Stop Sign
Listen to morning breeze. Hope to hear your annoying voice.
Sounds nice for beginner lover. You sucks to experts level.
As i opening curtain in my room,im doomed.
Try to be honest!
I dont like the way we build castle in the middle of this lake.
I dont want this way:you muddled, my persona become fake.
Let's be real.
Let's not continue.
Mortgage
Maybe leaving wont be the worst.
If only i dont want you that bad.
If only my heart's living no dread.
I dont know since what date i hate being left.
You wont know how it burned me to death.
Im sorry for being so pitiful. I'll leave you later.
-----
Am on my way to Bandung. I dont feel fit but yea. Hmmh.
I gotta learn from my own mistakes. Hahaha. Shit. At this rate, there's anothere twinge of guilt but i hafta go on with this relationship. Haha.
I dunno what am feeling for sure,this love's growing inside bigger and bigger yet i dont know what i've done. Hahaha. Yawn.
Mixed Salad
All things collapse in once
And your figurative character won't make things better.
I wanna hit the sheets.
Lemme forget you for a moment.
Lemme fall asleep.
Lemme forget your kisses.
Lemme be evil.
Lemme haunt you by whispering endless repeated same question:
I dont love you. Do you?
Heart
Kalau seandainya aku tahu
ada apa di ruang itu
Aku tidak akan menunggu
terlarut lebih jauh
ke perasaan carut-marut itu
Malam ini
Aku akan menciumnya lebih dalam
dari biasa
Kalau saja aku tahu
ada apa di ruang itu
Tak usah repot-repot tersedu
Kadang air mata
terlalu membosankan untuk dihapus
Madness
Once I said 'yes'
It means 'yes'
And you can never say 'no'
Or regret your saying 'yes'
Once I ask you to stop
You have to
STOP
Without further warning
It all ends here
Without further warning
Or 'no'
You have to trust my ego
Coz I eat yours
2
2.
Stop talking back at me
I need not talk
And even you murmur sound
It’s useless to say, “I don’t like.”
Even I’m making no point when I say, “I think we should...”
I need no reply
nor flower
I need no call
nor “sorry”
We’re torn, babe.
We’re dying here.
3 jan 08
::panen::
-----------------------
Hai hai hai hai hai hai hai.
Status currently reading gw: Snow Falling on Cedars
Dan gw lagi benci sama yang namanya Etta. Ugh, dia tuh keturunan Jerman-Amerika tapi sotoyyyyyy banget. Dia ngga suka sama bokapnya Kabuo, Zanikhichi ato siapalah namanya gw lupa, gara-gara dia Japanese!! Ya ampyunnn.
Lucu sih baca itu, kesannya gw jadi dihadapkan pada kenyataan bahwa tidak ada orang yang TIDAK SO TAHU di belahan dunia ini.
Mau orang Amerika, orang Arab, orang Sunda, Yahudi, Islam, Kong Hu Chu, Atheis. Namanya juga sikap orang ya ngga?
Hmm. Terus, gw lagi nulis (lagi), berhubung kali ini internet di rumah udah ada walopun ngga cepet-cepet amat dan gw ngga make tiap jam karena aktivitas yang masih banyak dilakukan di luar rumah.
Intinya baca itu belajar, sih. Hahaha! menyenangkan juga buat tahu sifat-sifat orang.
Jadi inget beberapa perangai menyebalkan yang gw temukan di kampuy, terus dari murid-murid, temen-temen yang belum dewasa, yah begitulah. Seru tapi jadinya. Makin kita mau belajar, makin ada aja yang mesti disabarin.
Udah ah, nanti gw cerita-cerita lagi. Otreh.
Tetaplah semangat membaca blog ini. Aseekk.
One.. Why?
One thing 4 sure. I just need friend to hang-out with.
One... I just need you to take me to beautiful places.
One... I just need not being insecure.
One.. I dont care u relationship wif her.
One.. I want ice cream.
One.. I need you not to kiss me.
One.. I love him still.
One.. We need lunch.
One.. Please lower you voice and be nicer.
Lets just pretend we are good friends they have. This far.
