Laut Biru Hamparan Salju

Di pikiranku
Terlilit lautan lepas
Dangkal, biru pekat.

Sampai kapan mau berlari
Jauh menempuh lautan salju pilu
Yang kekal, terjal
Yang kelu, beku?

Ada waktu dimana kamu, aku
Diam, diam
Tanpa arah
Menyelam dalam salju

Kedinginan
Tetap diam
Butuh pertolongan
Masih diam
Sedetik lagi mati
Tetap diam

Denyut kita hilang
Ditelan dinginnya lautan salju biru yang kekal dan kelu
Diserap pedihnya diam
Diserap pedihnya diam dalam diam yang mati keperihan

Kita selesai
Ditelan diam
Ditelan salju, laut haru biru
Bekunya hati kamu.

Leaving

It was until I realize I am sick to death, being unable to breathe, thinking of leaving you. Yet I know I am strong enough to die.

Unaware and blind.
Throwing myself to bed as if I could float or choke or smile or something good or bad or in between or nothing but I know I'm trying to peel off this misery out of my brain.

Broken and weak.
I need more pills that give me a glance if how good life could be without you, how i would be smiling with no heaviness on my chest.

How I wish I know where life will end us.
You and I.
Between rainbows and lines.